


you've got some nerve, baby (and I'm just all nerves)

by addendum



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Theater - Fandom
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, this is so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 20:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10579323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addendum/pseuds/addendum
Summary: Evan anxiously awaits his crush's return home from rehab.





	

"Evan, will stop with the fidgeting?" Jared asked without looking up from his phone. 

Evan jumped, startled. Jared's words had interrupted his ever whirling stream of consciousness and provided a momentary distraction from his worry. 

"Sorry!" He yelped, forcing himself to stay still. 

"You're fine, Evan." Zoe assured him, scowling at Jared. Evan smiled back at her appreciatively. He was glad he had maintained a friendship with his childhood crush. 

His body was almost perpetually overtaken by a low rumble of nerves, and the nerves manifested themselves as twitching and trembling and all manner of awkward movement. 

Evan resented his anxiety for an endless list of inflicted grievances, but perhaps most of all for the times when it made itself so evident to those around him. The fractures in his brain were his burden to bear, and his alone. No one else deserved to be confronted or made to deal with their effects. 

If there was one thing Evan could take comfort in now, it was that he knew just what was to blame for his current state. There were times when the source of it all wasn't so easily identifiable, and those times were frustrating beyond belief. 

Presently, however, it was clear. Today, Connor Murphy was finally returning from rehab. He'd only been gone for about three months, but to Evan it seemed more like an eternity. 

Evan couldn't always be sure what it was about Connor that had him so captivated. Debilitating addiction and barely contained rage were turn offs, of course. But there were times. Scraps of light that shone through the cracks of Connor's carefully constructed wall of harsh indifference. When Connor smiled, Evan's heart threatened to beat its way out of his chest. 

Connor was a walking contradiction. Cold eyes and warm heart, chapped and tattered lips that hid an endearing grin. One thing was certain, however; Connor Murphy was a goddamn force to be reckoned with. 

When he first became friends with Evan their high school's entire population knew that Evan Hansen could no longer be the target of any teasing, lest they come face to face with Connor's right fist. 

Now, Evan stood with a bouquet of flowers and the guarantee of almost certain rejection. Connor didn't do flowers. Although, people had once said he didn't do friendships. That was before he met Evan. 

"My dad just texted me, guys." Zoe announced suddenly, sounding less than enthusiastic. "They're just around the corner." 

"You hear that, Evan?" Jared asked, teasing evident in his voice. "Your boyfriend's almost here!" 

Evan blushed, shielding his face from the others with one hand. 

"He's not my boyfriend!" He mumbled. Jared look skeptical. 

"Whatever you say, gay boy." 

"Fuck off, Jared." Zoe said, looking down the road where her parent's Honda was advancing. 

Evan felt his stomach drop, struck all at once by the realization that things could go wrong. Why did he let his friends talk him into this? There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that Connor shared his feelings, no matter what Zoe said to the contrary. She was only trying to make him feel better. 

Zoe said Connor liked him too, that he never cared about gender and she'd never seen him look anyone the way he looked at Evan. Jared insisted that Connor became flustered when speaking to Evan, and that he hid his blush in the sleeve of his dark coat. Despite how the idea made him feel, Evan wasn't inclined to believe it. 

As Evan was overthinking, the Murphy's car pulled into the driveway. He clutched the bouquet tightly to his chest, the pressure giving him an iota of comfort. 

Cynthia sat in the passenger's seat looking worn out and a little sad. Larry just looked angry. Evan was sure the car ride had not been free of arguments. Connor didn't look angry per se, but he didn't look exactly thrilled to be home either. His expression was, for the most part, completely apathetic. 

"Hey, guys." Cynthia greeted as she got out of the car. Her face broke into a tired but genuine smile. 

"Hey to you too, Mrs M!" Jared exclaimed with a wink. It was never clear whether or not Jared's exuberance was ironic.

Larry simply nodded politely at the teens and continued walking toward the front door, grumbling all the way.

"I can see a difference in Connor already. Really, I can!" Cynthia whispered. "I'm gonna leave you kids alone now!" 

If either parent found it odd that Evan had brought flowers for their son, they didn't mention it. Connor stepped out of the backseat, suitcase in tow. 

"Hey there, big bro." Zoe said sarcastically. Despite the coldness in her voice, she reached for a fist bump which Connor returned. 

"Connor! Con Man! The Big C!" Jared said, shaking Connor by the shoulders enthusiastically. It was like he truly didn't get that mocking Connor was akin to poking at a dragon. Connor didn't react too strongly, simply rolling his eyes and turning to Evan. 

"Hey, Hansen." Connor said with a sideways grin. 

"Connor!" Evan said, unable to maintain his cool. In his excitement he fumbled a little with flowers, but managed not to drop them. 

"Are those, uh, for me?" Connor asked, scratching the back of his neck and appearing almost nervous. Nervous? That was another one of those things Connor just didn't do. 

"Um, y-yeah! I mean, yes! They're for you, Connor!" Evan said, shoving the bouquet into the taller boy's chest. 

Connor chuckled not unkindly, tucking a string of hair behind his ear. As much as he attempted to save face, the pink in his cheeks was rather damning. 

"Why did you get me these?" He asked, blunt as ever as he accepted the flowers. 

"I'm...proud of you? And I'm glad you're home!" Evan admitted, face turning redder but the second. 

"And he has a huge boner for you, dude." Jared added with a wry chuckle. He seriously had zero idea when to stop. 

"Jared!" Zoe scolded, horrified. 

Evan could feel his heart stop. 

"No! That's-that's not! Don't listen to him, Connor!" He said, tearing at his hair. 

"He's just lying?" Connor asked, glaring at Jared now. 

Evan's shoulders sank. Why was Jared always doing shit like this to him? From somewhere deep inside him, he pulled a stroke of courage. 

"Well, he's not wrong exactly. Wait! I'm not saying that I have a-! What I'm trying to say is that I like you. You know, like...more than friends like each other." Evan said, flinching as if he were expecting a hit. Jesus, he sounded so stupid. 

Connor grinned. 

"You know what 'serendipity' means, Hansen?" He asked. 

"W-what?" Evan asked, still smarting from the stress of his confession. 

"Nevermind." Connor replied.

He leaned forward then, planting an unceremonious kiss on Evan's ever chapped lips. Evan didn't even have the time to close his eyes before Connor pulled away. 

"I like you too, asshole." He mumbled, bringing a hand to Evan's cheek. 

"Oh, gross!" Jared cried, shielding his eyes in a melodramatic fashion. 

"Fuck you!" Both Murphy siblings exclaimed at once. Evan laughed, slipping his hand into Connor's, the other boy's weight keeping him anchored.


End file.
